Tuesday, February 11, 2014

A little plus sign.

It's about time I share the news! There is a precious little bundle of joy (and probably poop) coming to us this June.

With work being so busy right now and my days being much longer, I really don't get much time to sit here and share. But I have wanted to so badly. Especially with all the exciting events happening. If you haven't heard yet, I am having a baby. I'm already half way through so be prepared for about 4 months worth of updates in the next week or so. I mean, it's about time I stop keeping secrets and record all these precious memories.



A few months ago I was in New Mexico with one of my best friends. We were sitting there talking about life when, my friend said "you could be pregnant right now and not even know it" to which I laughed and said "yeah okay" because I had done my best to stop counting on it.

At the time, I was tired of trying and having things not work out. I was starting to feel as if God just didn't have motherhood in the plan for me right now, even though I wanted it so badly. A year was a long time to wait, and I was having this feeling that maybe I needed to focus on something else for a little bit.

So I did. I applied for a promotion and got it. I left the position that I thought would work perfectly with the demands of doctors appointments and rest required when growing a miniature person. I started thinking about other things and focusing on what I did have instead of what I didn't have. It felt a little empty, focusing my heart on something other than what I really wanted, but I also didn't want to live in that place of emptiness and sorrow that I just couldn't seem to shake while I was focused on motherhood when I couldn't have it.

A couple weeks later, Zac had a trip for school. He was attending a conference and presenting research in beautiful San Diego. It was going to be a long weekend by myself since I already had cramps and knew my period was coming.

But part of me couldn't help but hope that maybe cramps could mean more than one thing.

So I stopped at Walmart and bought a pregnancy test anyways. I think I stared at it for half and hour when I saw the little plus sign. And then I cried a little bit. I was so happy. And then I called Zac, who didn't pick up the phone. And then I called my sister. And then I called Zac again and got to share the news. Ten I made myself stop talking about it because there was so much we didn't know and after our last experience with the molar pregnancy, I knew that I would need to be checked up on before I could count on this one being a sure thing. But that single little line had a cross. It meant that there were so many possibilities. I had hope.

Who would have guessed that my friend was right. Weeks before I even knew to hope, she called it.


6 comments:

  1. So exciting! You deserve this! Beautiful picture of you by the way:)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Aww this is awesome! Congratulations, how exciting!!! :-)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh Suzzie, I hoped this for you so bad!! I am so happy for you. I can't wait to hear all the updates!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Oh, wow!!! Congrats!! You guys have exciting things ahead of you!

    ReplyDelete